


All This and Heaven Too

by quietdetective



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Crowley Was Raphael Before He Fell (Good Omens), Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oblivious Aziraphale, aziraphale had a higher rank than Crowley, cherubim!aziraphale, smitten!Crowley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2020-07-10 03:10:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19898899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietdetective/pseuds/quietdetective
Summary: A star-struck angel watched another walk through the Garden of Eden, in a sense falling in love instantly.It was a shame with what was to come.





	1. Chapter 1

Raphael walked trough his garden with ease, filling the air with feelings of content and belonging. His Mother allowed him free reign here, to do as he wished with the garden that would one day hold her prized possessions. It was a high honour that Raphael wasn’t sure he deserved, but his fellow archangels shut down any questions he had for this placement. 

While working, one could get so absorbed in their task that they didn’t realize another entered their workplace. In this instance, a Cherub had wandered in, perhaps looking for somewhere to rest and reflect after doing some of God’s bidding. The Cherub didn’t notice the other angel, since they seemed absorbed in their own thoughts. Their many eyes were closed and they sort of curled in on themselves, their many wings folding and resting behind them. The only reason the archangel noticed the Cherub was due to their pulsating energy, so full and vast you could feel the power from miles around. Raphael was enraptured. 

Raphael kept quiet, for it wasn’t his place to disturb another angel after all, especially a higher ranking one. If the Cherub decided his garden was a place for rest it would be for now. Questions were filling up behind his tongue and teeth, but with how wary the energy felt around him, he kept silent for once. Raphael stayed away and observed, trying to keep to his tending while admiring the powerful angel. None of the others would believe him if he told them a Cherub had a nap in his garden, for they didn’t understand how a garden full of things could be peaceful. 

Soon enough the Cherub seemed to have gotten over his wariness and tired thoughts, for they stood and left as quickly as they came. Raphael would never forget that instance, even as he sauntered vaguely downwards with his brother. 

Crowley never found out the name of the Cherub who rested in his garden. He never got the chance, even with occasionally seeing them around he was always distracted by something else or they were called away. With this display of love for something other than God, and his questioning, suddenly he was falling. 


	2. Chapter 2

Faith was a tricky thing for a demon.

Faith required something to believe in, and often that something was actually a someone. And after all, it was quite difficult to believe in something, in this case a someone, who always disappointed. Either they were too cruel or too kind, too much or too little, around too much or never seen. In most cases, people didn’t have faith in others for the simple reason that they were too human. Humans made mistakes that often disqualified them from being something people could have faith in.

The main point was that you have to be able to look up to those who you had faith in, and faith in the idea that they will do right. It didn’t matter if what they did was good or evil, it just had to be something you believe was right. This made Faith even more tricky for a demon, in a sense at least. They lost their Faith in God when they fell from the lights of heaven, burning all the way down. She burnt the last of their faith with that action. She did what was right in some eyes, something horrid in others. It didn’t matter in the end, for those who had Faith in Her were in their own version of right.

Lucifer was Her closest equivalent in Hell, but demons didn’t have the same “blind” faith in him. Demons trusted no other demon for the most part, after all they were tricky. But, he did right in their eyes, for questioning God’s love for her creations and not them. It got them cast out, but at least out let them be what they thought was right. She couldn’t admit her favoritism, they whispered, it’s better this way.

Perhaps it was, or perhaps they were just trying to feel better. That’s another thing about faith. When those you have faith in are in the wrong, you deny it till you either realize it, or till you die.

Raphael was different in this sense, as he is in most. He found himself with faith still, even if it was the barest traces. He couldn't fully trust God, but he couldn't fully hate her either. She was the only one who never told him to stop his questioning, for She made him curious. His faith was somewhat in Her, but Her ways weren't right in his eyes. Why allow suffering, pain? 

He couldn't remember his questions when he hit the boiling sulfur, when Raphael was a lost memory and out came Crawley, but he knew he didn't deserve this punishment. He was a minor offense compared to the other's extreme ones, but when you need to set an example, it doesn't matter anymore.

Crowley kept his faith, but eventually it shifted to someone else.

* * *

Crowley and Aziraphale had developed an unlikely friendship, something which was nurtured not purely in good faith but ended up being a pure thing. They cared for each other more than they would like to admit, and both would agree that they couldn’t imagine earth without the other. They were a balancing act, outwitting the other and thwarting each other, at least at the beginning. After a few thousand years they were going toe to toe in tricking their respective offices, letting those above them believe they were doing much more than they actually were. They traded assignments and got the other to do their share more than a few times.

While the question came up a few times, neither were entirely sure if they knew the other while in heaven. It wasn’t that important to either, as Heaven was far behind them in a sense. While one could return, the other couldn’t, and neither liked to imagine that life.

Crowley wasn’t afraid to admit the reason he fell was due to his questioning, though he never stated what he questioned. He wondered about the structure of heaven, why they had ranks when they were all supposed to be equal in Her eyes. He wondered why no one was close, for there was no love in Heaven at the time. Crowley believed the final straw was when he confided in her that he fell in love with another angel, one high above him in ranks. Perhaps it was the love he didn’t feel for her, but the other angel. Maybe it was that fact he looked into Her eyes and questioned why create things that were only going to suffer. All he knew was that when angels began to fall from the Heavens like the shooting stars he created, he was among them while all he did was heal.

Aziraphale on the other hand, would willfully do things without questioning it first. He would do what he thought was right, even if that wasn’t what Heaven wanted. He did this with a flaming sword given to the outcasted, but was quickly reprimanded. He lost his rank and ordered to stay on earth for his crime. Aziraphale quickly fell back in line with the other angels, fearing for a punishment much worse. He witnessed what could happen to angels who didn't listen after all.

This meant that Aziraphale cared much more about the Great Plan that the other angels were talking about. The one chance they were getting to defeat the dastardly demons of hell, once and for all. Even after meeting a demon who might've done a good thing while he did a bad thing, he had to trust he would be alright. The demon was simply trying to scare him and tempt him away from God's light. 

They met on a garden wall, and Aziraphale felt what he thought was temptation.

They met on a garden wall, and Crowley knew what he felt was love.


	3. 3004 BC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first of many in a sense. 
> 
> Demons weren't to be trusted after all, for they were tricksters, evil. When they gain your trust, they go and stab you in the back. 
> 
> It's odd when the one who stabs is actually an angel.

People liked having beginnings, middles, and ends to things. It helped with organization and kept things neat and tidy. For instance, saying the universe was created with a big bang, a definite beginning, continued to be a thing, a definite middle, and would one day swallow itself up again, a definite end. These made things a lot easier to process and kept people from going insane with the idea that things would continue to go on with or without them, for humans were self-obsessed like that.

Things had beginnings, middles, and ends too of course, going by this rule. A friendship for instance had a beginning, meeting at some point and being happy for it, a middle, continuing to meet for no other reason than enjoying the other’s company, and an end, when the two cannot meet anymore for the joy of meeting.

An angel and a demon met one day, neither truly remembering if they ever met before this, and chatted a bit. They both were not sure if they messed up or did the right/wrong thing. It couldn’t be said they were happy to meet, but the conversation definitely went better than either could ever expect. It’s not to say this was definitely the beginning of a friendship, but it was the beginning of something.

* * *

The next time they met was quite different. It had been about a thousand years, with many events that happened that affected both in different ways, and it couldn’t be said if it was for the better or worse. They were not alone in this meeting, they stood in the middle of a crowd of people, adults and children alike who didn’t know what was going to happen to them. They weren’t allowed to know of course, for if they knew, they could try to prevent their own demise. They could fish and hunt, gather plants, make boats much less grand than Noah’s Arc but would float all the same, and no one would have to die. That was against this Great Plan, so it wasn’t allowed to happen.

Heaven had kept an eye on earth, not just through Aziraphale but their own eyes. The archangels didn’t trust what the humans were doing, slowly becoming more and more corrupt as they were allowed to do what they will with the gift that they had stolen. The knowledge of good and evil meant that they could choose evil, which wouldn’t work with heaven’s plans, for those who chose evil could end up in hell. So the archangels had to plan, for they were sure this was not what their Mother wanted for her dear creations. They sent their earth-bound angel, Aziraphale, to ensure the plan went smoothly. This area would flood at God’s command, and it was expected Her chosen family would stay safe throughout the days and nights of downpour. It was part of the Great Plan, to ensure that the corrupt would perish before they could corrupt others and ensure heaven would receive those not full of corruption yet.

It was God’s will, everyone would insist. This belief spread throughout Heaven and Earth, and when one heard of a date, it was set to come true.

Aziraphale had questions, any reasonable person would. He didn’t want anyone to be murdered, and especially those who committed no crime. He tried to argue his points, for he witnessed humanity grow and shift over the years, but he was told to keep his arguments to himself. Wouldn’t want to fall, would he?

There were many children who would perish with the sinners, and could children who were still learning about the world truly be sinners? Were their parents’ choices enough to condemn a whole generation? None the less, Aziraphale stopped voicing his concerns and helped prepare Noah’s family for the trip, ensuring that all the animals on the list he was given were accounted for, that the family would have enough food and clean water for both themselves and their animals.

He didn’t account for a wily serpent to make an appearance though.

“Hello Aziraphale!” If the angel hadn’t known better, of maybe if he had, he would’ve called the demon’s greeting cheerful, happy to see a familiar face when they often die before your eyes. He couldn’t give into temptation though, for he received quite a lashing last time he let the demon get pass him right under his nose.

“Crawley,” came a stiff reply, a barrier between them. Couldn’t get close enough to betray him if he kept Crawley at arms length to begin with.

Their conversation quickly shifted from one about a sword to one about the big boat not too far off, then to the topic of killing children. Aziraphale tried to reassure the demon that it wasn’t everyone, just some. This wasn’t too pleasant to talk about, especially to a demon who condemned the actions, even with the promise of a new “rain bow.”

“How kind,” Crawley said in a voice that was soft, but not at all kind. He looked like he was planning something, and Aziraphale knew he would have to make sure it didn’t affect the Great Plan, even with his heart crying to do something about this. He was on earth to thwart the demon’s temptations after all, so Aziraphale would have to regardless of what he personally thought. Even though he agreed with him.

“You can’t judge the Almighty, Crawley.” He told the other firmly, trying to wash away the doubts being planted in his mind. They were only due to the demon, not his own voice whispering in his ear about how this didn’t match with the God he believed in. He was being tempted once more, and he must be stronger than his tempter.

It devolved from there, with Crawley being distracted by a rogue unicorn. At least that’s what appeared to happen. Aziraphale forgot about his plans to keep an eye on the demon, to make sure nothing would interfere, having run off to discuss what should do happen with one unicorn, and if it were possible to get the other back. Such a deep discussion was happening that neither party noticed an addition to the animals, a long black snake with a red underbelly.

Weeks went by, and Aziraphale didn’t hear from the demon again. Crawley was gone as far as he could tell, and all for the better. Now he could focus on Noah and his family.

It could’ve even worked, housing just over a dozen children of sinners in the depths of the ship, if Aziraphale couldn’t feel the evil energy coming from below. If there weren’t flashes of demonic energy coming from the animal pens. He knew it couldn’t have been the humans, for they were either in God’s graces or dead. Perhaps it would’ve been a mercy if he hadn’t had to investigate.

Aziraphale descended into the ship, passing countless pens filled with pairs of animals. Some were already gravid, preparing to repopulate this area of the world once more with purity. He left the humans above, for they were no where near prepared to face a demon, even one who seemed on the weaker end of the demonic scale. Just as he passed the last pen, empty for it was supposed to house the unicorns that escaped, he saw movement. There would be no infestations or fear of spreading of disease, so it couldn’t be vermin. Well, of the rodent verity.

“Crawley what in the name of Heaven are you doing down here?” Aziraphale was shocked he didn’t notice them before. Perhaps he didn’t want to, maybe he was distracted. There was a stash of food and water in a corner, just over a dozen children who couldn’t have been older than twelve, and a long, black snake whose eyes shone with too much intelligence to have belonged.

The snake hissed at him, slithering to be in front of the children who looked terrified. “Well, it’ssssss againsssst Her plan to ssssssave them, sssssso I mussst.” Crawley circled the angel, never letting him get too close to the children. “Sssssso angel, what’ssssss your move?”

Aziraphale felt the emotions in his chest, expanding, so full he could barely stand it. He didn’t have a heart that needed pumping, or lungs that needed breathing, but he could feel them strain with what the dread of what he must do. He wished more than anything he could pretend he didn’t see this, didn’t see the demon surrounded by the children of sinners, if Aziraphale didn’t witness something, it meant he could deny it. He would’ve been able to look the other way and pretend he was foiled, and the children could live. Aziraphale couldn’t though. He saw, he witnessed, anyway you could say he knew of them, and he had to do something. He was already in trouble with heaven for the whole sword business, and he would be in worse trouble for something like this.

“They must go Crawley.” The angel said it in a much firmer voice than he believed he could muster in this sort of situation. Aziraphale stood firm, trying to hide the doubt as the children backed away from him, whispering among themselves over what he meant. Where they could go in the world. There was no where. They knew of course, but it was a hard, terrible, truth. “Other angels will be coming around and your cloaking of this area is very poor. I could feel the demonic energy from the top of the arc, and it’s even worse when you perform your, your temptations.” He refused to call them miracles, for those were something only angels could perform. Demons were far too corrupt for miracles of any sort.

“Sssssso? What’re you going to do about it, Azzzzziraphale?” The tempter stopped in front of the children, eyes filled with something, something Aziraphale didn’t know how to place. He wouldn’t call it love, or care, or altruism, when he looked at Aziraphale, it was much darker, hatred. It was so different when Crawley looked at the children, his eyes softened and he whispered kind words. It couldn’t have been kindness, or care, or altruism. It couldn’t have been love for something other than himself. It was obviously just temptations, something to put doubt into Aziraphale. “Are you willing to kill children for your causssssse?”

“Why are they even here? They should’ve drowned with their families, you’ve only delayed the inevitable. Their parents made their bed, and their children must lie in it.” Aziraphale steeled his heart, refusing to let the tears fall down his cheeks, despite how much he wished them to. “I don’t like it anymore than you, but it is all part of something much greater than you or I.”

“Her plan is bullshit. Why create thingsssss only to have them sssssuffer?” Crowley bared his fangs, posturing as if ready to strike if Aziraphale came any closer. “Do you hear what they ssssay about Her? How benevolent She isssss, how kind. Their faith isssssssooo ssstrong. How do they feel knowing Her will isssss to kill?” The angel stepped forward, ignoring the words that were meant to hurt, place doubt, stepping past the invisible barrier that was pure imagination, and killed the demon where he laid. The children’s cries were harder to ignore, the terror palatable in the air at the sight of their savior so easily defeated. He didn’t want this. Aziraphale only ever wanted what was best for humans, their funny little ways and all, but they must go.

This was all for the best, and Aziraphale must believe in this. If he didn’t, if he began to doubt, he’d fall.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, letting each child die painlessly, as if only falling asleep. Aziraphale only let the tears fall when the last of them let out their final breath. It was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously, this fic is a lot. It's a lot sadder than I first thought, but the ideas that were originally planted are still there. 
> 
> Go pester me on tumblr if you wish to, goodforsomeone.


	4. 0 AD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watching one they both care about die at the hands they cannot influence, Crowley and Aziraphale are forced to talk about what happened.

The need to do well in other’s eyes can easily cloud what the right thing to do is.

The angel and the demon did not see each other for quite a long time after that. They heard stories about what the other was up to of course, that came with being the only angel and demon in this region of the Earth. Aziraphale tried not to think about it too much, for he had carefully planned out his argument for his actions in the years apart. He didn’t need to justify himself to a demon, the fact they were hereditary enemies should’ve been enough, but Aziraphale could not brush off these thoughts that insisted he had to make this demon understand his actions. To prove that he was the angel that the other knew from the wall of the garden.

When there was news of Hell’s best tempter being sent to move Her son away from the light, he knew he had to intervene. The angel wasn’t able to intervene while they went around the world, and he tried not to think about the look on Crowley’s face every time he tried to make Jesus test his Mother. It was a soft look, one full of an emotion that wasn’t pity but somewhere along the lines of trying to get your younger or older sibling to understand what an awful person your parent was. The terrible things they did to them and the actions that couldn’t be excused. The moment Aziraphale could finally talk to Crowley was a somber one, with Jesus being crucified before his followers. While watching, the demon managed to sneak up on him again, but that might’ve just been due to how distracted he was with this display. What Aziraphale hadn’t expected was to be pulled into another conversation. That was a lack of foresight that he only had himself to blame for, however.

“Come to smirk at the poor bugger have you?” Crawley asked, staring straight ahead, at the young man being punished for caring. Aziraphale was surprised by the bitterness in his voice, the contempt he held in such few words. He didn’t understand it, but maybe one day he would put the pieces together and realize why.

“Smirk? Me?” Aziraphale was offended, for he loved the Almighty’s kin like any other angel should. He even managed to talk to him on occasion, had a few grand laughs.

“Well, your lot put him up there,” Crawly stated, for it was the truth. Jesus had to be crucified to relieve the other humans of their sins. It didn’t matter what the two thought of it, it had to happen in accordance to the plan neither had seen. Only one of them had accepted by now that they didn’t have to do anything of the sort.

With a revelation of what was said to make everyone so angry, that left the two standing as Jesus died a slow, painful death. People slowly left the sight, till only the angel and demon stood, watching, both wondering why this had to happen.

Crawley, or Crowley now, watched with eyes that were filled with regret. One could make multiple assumptions over what the regret was for, but perhaps it was just regret. Not being able to do enough, seeing something and caring enough to try and stop it, only to fail. The angel could not let himself believe this though, for that put more and more questions into his already full head. The regret must be for something other than caring too much, for if it was that then the world in Aziraphale’s head would fall apart. One created by his higher-ups, full of reasons and excuses for Heaven’s hellish actions, the uncaring way they dealt with what was supposed to be their Mother’s prized creation.

“What was the point to it?” The words came so soft that a gust of wind could have blown them away. Never had Aziraphale heard such sorrow in a voice before and coming from a fallen it was even more shocking. He couldn’t allow himself to believe it was true.

“Whatever could you mean, my dear?” The words came slightly louder but didn’t disturb the quiet air around them. It felt like time stopped, and perhaps it had.

“You bloody well know what. What was the point of killing the children? Surrounded by Noah’s family, they would’ve ended up, holy.” The word was sneered as if it were a bad word meant for only the worst of people. It was surprising, for Aziraphale was sure the matter was dropped since it wasn’t the first thing discussed. It caught him off guard, and all of his excuses and explanations fled his mind, not that they would’ve done much good.

“Well, uh. You know as well as I that only Noah’s family had been chosen, with their wives to help repopulate-”  
  


“Yeah yeah yeah, but to kill so many innocents? To kill so many who never had a chance to prove that they were worth more than a number in a kill count. To have so many children who shouldn’t have had to prove their worth perish for sins that are not theirs.” Crowley faced him fully now, eyes blazing in such an unpleasant way that Aziraphale found himself able to believe that this was one of Hell’s best tempters. The angel never quite understood how humans could be swayed so easily with words, one of the first of God’s gifts to them. In a denial that only he could get rid of, Aziraphale didn’t let himself believe the demon was genuine, that this was a ruse to make him fall.

“No. This is so much grander than we can understand Crawly- Crowley. In any case, they are happy now. Even if their life was cut short, it all went to plan. Perhaps in the grand scheme of things they were meant to die-“

“Just like he was?” There nearly seemed to be tears coming to the demon’s eyes, the pain of seeing one’s suffering too much. “Why go through all the effort of having a child, raising them to be someone great who could lead people to do things that better everyone, only to have them killed before you in a horrific manner?”

“Crowley we can’t question these things. It was all meant to happen this way, and we are just tools to make sure it does.” Aziraphale had to try and convince the other, for if he was wrong and things could have ended differently than the choices the angel made would haunt him even more than they already did.

“A depressing outlook, isn’t it? That we have no free will, and neither do the humans? I thought that’s what started this. The urge for their own choices?” Crowley was getting closer, hands clenched tight as if ready to throw a punch. Never had the angel seen the demon so tense, not even on the Arch. All the emotions swirling around them, being forced to face what heaven has done so far, and perhaps by choice and not due to plan, was too much for one who wanted to see the good in their home.  
  


“Well you would know, wouldn’t you? You damned them to it.” It hadn’t meant to come out at all. It was an instinctual thing, to defend what you believe even as you see the cracks becoming bigger and longer.

“…” Crowley looked at Aziraphale with such disappointment in his eyes, hurt leaking through the anger he tried to push forward and hide behind. “Well, if we don’t have free will then it was meant to happen, wasn’t it?”

The demon walked away from Aziraphale finally turning his back to the child of God. Aziraphale was left there, thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can assure you that I am not dead, merely bad at updating. I can assure you that the next chapter will come out sometime within the next few months, rather than the half-year this chapter took. What can I say, this was a heavy one.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my dear friend cause she adored the idea of Aziraphale being an angelic eldritch monster and Principalities deal with humans so they can’t be monsters. 
> 
> There’ll definitely be more.


End file.
